Dealer Founders
Turtle
Giraffe
Giraffe
After my eight years as a combat engineer in the Army, the thrill of working with explosives left a void. Paintball became my safer outlet for that adrenaline rush. I've been playing since 1999 and am a proud founding member of this team. My foray into speedball tournaments was brief. Scenario games proved to be a better fit for me. Joining forces with players from my local field, Soggy Bottom, we formed the Death Dealers. I was one of the original eight founding members, and over the years, the team grew to a peak of 60 players. These days, you can usually find me playing most Saturdays at 'The Swamp' Fun Park in Hayes, Virginia. My passion for paintball has even taken me across the country, and I continue to travel for the sport
Giraffe
Giraffe
Giraffe
They call me Giraffe—probably because I stand at 6'6", though I’m still not entirely sure. I started playing paintball back in 2004–2005 at local fields like Soggy bottom Paintball and Powerline Paintball. I cut my teeth on speedball, playing on airbag and plastic pipe fields. Around 2006–2007, I formed a three-man speedball team called True Grit. We competed for about three to four years before I discovered scenario paintball in 2007—and that was it. I was hooked.
I'm currently the second-oldest member of The Dealers, just six months shy of the eldest, and at 64, I'm still going strong. I even owned a paintball store around 2009–2010, though I lost it during an economic downturn not long after. Since then, I've stuck exclusively to scenario paintball—except when a game calls for a bit of speedball, of course.
On the field, I’m known for being aggressive, relentless, and always ready to help new players. Friendly too... most of the time. I’ve played all over—from Georgia to New York, Indiana to New Jersey, and through Maryland, the Carolinas, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, and Alabama. I love this game, and I love this team.
Dealer Profiles
Sick Smurf
Sick Smurf
Sick Smurf
Sick Smurf joined Death Dealers in 2023 and has been playing for four years. He met the DD team on a random walk-on game and immediately knew they were for him, it was love at first sight. A proud former Army MP, Smurf resides in Ashburn, VA with his wife and two children.
The Hornet
Sick Smurf
Sick Smurf
The Hornet joined Death Dealers in 2023 with his dad Sick Smurf and has been playing for four years. His name is synonymous with that insect that is fast and stings hard when the prey isn't looking.
Deadman
Sick Smurf
Deadman
This is Deadman (his name is a long story), aged ???. He started with the team in December of 2023. One of his favorite parts of playing paintball is getting shot. Lol. Yea, weird. He's a VERY proud member and takes great pride in the team and considers all members his friend, they mean a lot to him
Lefty
Just Joe
Deadman
Lefty joined the Death Dealers December of 2011 and has loved everything about it. He was playing with the Death Dealers on his old 3 man team since the team was formed. Lefty has been playing paintball since 1999. He is currently the teams acting secretary and helps coordinate big games with his teammates. He has a wealth of experience and used that to general a 'Super Game' in 2024.
Just Joe
Just Joe
Just Joe
Joe is a man of many words, he's just Joe.
Wildman
Just Joe
Just Joe
Wildman—also known as Unexpected Funation on YouTube, or Whirlwind (as Deadman calls him)—officially joined the team in December 2023. But his connection with the crew started earlier, having played against the Deathdealers at a big game and a walk-on event back in June 2023. Since 2021, he’d been playing solo, without a team. Known for charging headfirst into enemy fire and his blazing speed, Wildman brings nonstop energy and passion to every match. For him, there's no team he'd rather be a part of.
Scorpion
Mother Death
Scorpion
Scorpion, a former Portuguese Marine, joined the Death Dealers in April 2018. He first met the team while working a job with Lefty, and later played his first game with them—the team that has since become family. Scorpion currently lives in Waldorf, MD.
Elf
Mother Death
Scorpion
My paintball journey began in 1997 during my training with the USAF, when I first picked up a marker. Years later, in 2020, I found myself back on the field when my oldest wanted to play for their birthday. The moment I held that marker again, the thrill came rushing back, and I rediscovered a passion that had been waiting to reignite. Shortly after, I joined the Death Dealers and dove headfirst into both speedball and woodsball, captivated by the adrenaline, strategy, and community the sport offers.
Since then, I’ve competed in numerous big games and tournaments, constantly sharpening my skills and forging strong bonds with incredible teammates. Most recently, I began a new chapter as a probationary member of Soltice Law, stepping into the world of paintball reffing. I’m deeply committed to growing the paintball community and embracing the lifestyle it represents—full of camaraderie, adventure, and unforgettable experiences. Off the field, you’ll find me enjoying almost any outdoor activity and scouting new venues and opportunities for our team.
Mother Death
Mother Death
Mother Death
I’m Kat, but you can call me "Mother Death." I discovered my passion for paintball in 2020 while playing with the Death Dealers in scenario paintball. In 2023, I became a dedicated member of the Valkyries, an all-women paintball team, where I thrive in the adrenaline-fueled atmosphere of 10-man woods-ball.
With a fierce competitive spirit and a strong commitment to teamwork, I approach every match with enthusiasm and determination. I'm not just focused on my own performance; I'm dedicated to empowering women in the sport and fostering a community of support and camaraderie among players. Whether I'm navigating the woods or engaging in intense tournaments, I bring the passion and resilience that define my journey in the paintball community.